Here's the scoop

Many have probably heard mention of my clash with my roommate. Hamster bitch as far as i'm concerned (my roommate called her a hamster affectionately, but the idea of a compact rodent that makes irritating noises is quite applicable in my opinion).

So here's how the issues started: Actually, before anything happened in person, I met her through Facebook. Automatically I disliked her, as she had a stuffed unicorn in her profile picture and every message she sent me had far too many exclamation points to be reasonable. No one is that excited about choosing a fridge.

Wrong. Upon moving in, my worst fears were confirmed. She actually was that excitable and hyper. She had a squeaky high pitched voice that instantly irritated me and the worst part of it was that she never stopped talking. Somewhat of a human equivalent to that tiny yappy dog that you want to drop kick. High energy, high pitch, and a constant stream of bullshit- mostly about her stories of when she was fucked up or her boyfriend or how hella cheap she got something for. This girl was my worst nightmare.

One night shortly after moving in, she came home stoned. And miracle upon miracles, she was chill. Mellow, almost quiet- or at least less talkative than I'd seen her since moving in. I'd already vented some of my irritation about her talking to a friend who shared in my irritation of her, and so decided to share my little revelation. I sent them a text saying "K is quiet when she's stoned. I've found the magic key." Except that I sent it to my roommate by mistake. Oopsie daisy. My bad.