sky

The early morning sky, a murky grey-purple haze, melting into a muted blue and eventually tinged so pale with the not yet visible light of the sun that it's almost yellow. This is the early morning sky.

Rising past the ominous and ever present wall of dirty white smog that subtly consumes all distant views as it blurs them and sucks out all color and vibrancy.

Driving home along the ocean I see the sunset and realize that it is actually the smog wall that surounds us in all directions. It fades from blue- purple- pink- orange- yellow- white, then the sun sinks behind the horizon and the once bright light blue sky slowly fades and darkens back to a dark blue grey black ceiling of the world, sprinkled with stars and the suns shadow of the moon

cabnin

In the cabin there is constant activity and movement. The persistent whir of buzzing wings or the hurried scattering of giant ants going about their daily business. Squirrels are busy climbing trees and birds have new places to discover each day. But for all this, the carefree fluttering of butterfly wings, the gentle sway of tiny pink, yellow, and white wild flowers or high up bristling of pine needles in the wind, and lazy drifting of dust through the shafts of sunlight make the cabin and always peaceful and clam escape, even in the busiest of hours. I attribute it most to the active silence of the forest. Where even in the calmest or busiest of hours you hear the melodious sounds of birds singing merely for the pleasure of it. The skitter of chipmunks clambering up a tree trunk, and the comforting sound of your own feet unaccompanied by any other noise. There may be noise and sound, but when taking a moment to just still yourself you are blind but to notice the permeating, echoing of the vastness of silence- and within the silence of peace and contentment are inescapable.

This is all

Things I've learned recently from the book This is All by Aiden Chambers, or maybe i should say quotes:

• i've never felt that i'm only one self
• i won't allow biology to be used as an excuse for unacceptable behaviour
• poetically named chemical substances
• i began ot feel as if I were levitating and floating off into the air
• small, spare, simple, fresh, yet endless too, dense, complex, as old as the universe (poems)
• why do we repeat the obvious when in shock
• infuriating grin
• last night i dreamt i was giving birth to a cat
• jealousy poinsons the souls
• stoopid....... wickedeeboo
• there's something very disturbing about your dad crying
• i want to be concsious of everything. I want to be concsious of everything
• every time we learn something we suffer a sense of loss
• sleep
• Did the me i'm aware of when i'm awake go away while i was the me i am while i sleep?
• sleep- the death of earch day's life
• I am my life. My life means me. To understand me properly, you have to know who i am
• how odd that you can think something out only when you write it down, and how it can feel right even as you write it down, even though you don't understand it yourself and even though you've written it.
• helping yourself
• i forced the tears back
• without their nothingness they would be nothing
• you are consistently obscene
• and all the lives to be are full of trees and changing leaves
• the world, the universe, was alive. And somehow, this knowing, this conciousness, was what people call God
• the great grey-green greasy Limpopop all set about with fever trees
• and we have to be as alive as we can be and not let sadness or anything else spoil life for us
• when someone is about to leave you for a while, they gret scratchy. this is only to help them leave
• mental smile
• why can't people just enjoy things?
• the ony who leaves is the ony who smiles. The one who cries is the one who stays behind
• all the pent-up self-destructive energy had burnt off, I felt calm and myself again, but exhausted.
• jealousy is an ugly weakness
• nothing is real until it is imagined
• in that sense it's true that we ourselves and everybody else, everything i nthe world, everything in the entire universe,all of life itself, is only what it is,is only real, because it has been imagined. some people call this supreme universalimagination God.
• nothing is real, nothing exists, until we have imagined it
• i love the sea. I love its endless movement, its never the same always the sameness
• horizontal viewing is grounded, level, patient, settled
• the meaning of life itself, the point of it, is living it.
• and what would we be without our memory? - unconcious
• Robert Frost's poem 'the road not taken'
• sex is like junk food
• we are nothing if we are not conscious. if we were not conscious, we would not know who or what we are
• hapiness, it seems to me, is what you feel when your life is as it should be. Ergo, unhappiness is what you feel whe your life is not as it should be. When you're unhappy, you can become depressed
• i'm part of the height, the ground is falling twards me. falling upwards
• honesty may be the best policy but its side-effects are pain, rejection and opprobrium
• giggledom
• it grows in a tree, which we think of as rooted in the earth. but if you look at it another way, you cansay it is rooted by its branches in the sky
• when trying to find the truth, all things should in life should be looked at from the opposite way we usually think of them
• i long to know everything about Life, everything about myself
• doing nothing is doing something
• just words, but in the end they fail us. Because there are truths that lie beyond words
• to live is to remember. to forget is to die
• though it reminds me of a big mistake, is part of my life from which I learned a lot, and don't want to forget it
• we only find our disciple the hard way by trial and error, by searching and waiting- by lifing your way into it. or maybe i should say by it living its way into us
• you all you need to know about yourself; you just haven't let yourself know you know it yet
• silence can be as big a statement as words. nothing is more important than the truths to which we are blind
• know what she was saying until she was ready to reveal it
• what is is and life must go on whatever it is
• we are all going to die. it is only the worrying that makes it scary. so there is no point to dreading what will happen no matter what we do.

fight for the lose

I've always fought my emotions. I hated to cry. I refused to cry. If I have to and truly can't stop myself then I'd prefer to be on my own until it passes, so please don't try and make me feel better.

I usually start off feeling emotional and then something will upset me and piss me off until I'm so frustrated with everything that i cry or tear up. then the fact that I'm crying will just upset me more, so I fight it. I fight my emotions as much as I can. I feel weak and stupid if I cry. I am upset and get a headache from the tears.

It may be why I'm usually a happy person. If not happy - then I'm rarely sad or upset. Indifferent is a common state of mind. Pensive takes up a lot of brain space. Soooooo many thoughts that refuse to stop themselves until they've been completely thought out.

But surely there is a reason for crying. Otherwise we wouldn't. We are the only animals that cry- probably because we're the only ones who cause so many problems. But there must be a reason. To let out all the built up termoil emotions cause? I don't think so, because I never feel better afterwards. There's probably a reason and a use for it....but until I find a redeeming quality i'll continue to fight to keep my composure and my control. Hopefully it works.

Nanna's poems

I was
When I was young and dreaming
I never stopped to think
The earth I grew in spoke to me,
And the wind taught me to sing

Warm morning sun
Would wake me and
Draw me out in play
When I was young and dreaming
And had no debts to pay

What is the it?
What is the it?
It gives me a fit,
When I hear about it all day long.

Some people do it in rhythm,
others do it in rhyme.

One person paints it in space and
Another will count it in time.

All and any position is fine
If it's in your line,

Cause there ain't one right and
There ain't wrong.

Any tune you hum
Is bound to be your song

Some say it's God
Some say it's gone.

I say it's you
And i say it's me

And we go back to eternity.

Before our bodies mattered and
Our minds became enclosed,

You and I were there together,
We were the ones that chose.

To come out of surrender
When spirit had arose,

To stuff a formless essence
Into heart and hands and toes.

You and I were there together,

We were the ones that chose.

share the wealth

Albert Einstein said energy cannot be destroyed, it can only be transformed. Knowledge should be the same way. You rarely create knowledge on your own. New discoveries are a rare occurrence. Other than that, you only learn from others. Anyone you admire for their wisdom only achieved it by listening and learning from others. So you too may learn a great deal and be someone that others envy. It's not either a matter of whether or not you do well on tests. Some very knowledgeable people may just not know the particular question on the test. Or maybe they just don't care to do work. Through the ages we have managed to still retain much information from ancient civilizations. Through stories we remembered and then it was recorded, written down. If ever a day someone finds our remains. we have everything written and recorded that there will be no mystery about what we did or who we were. That is almost... unfortunate- future people won't be challenged and they won't learn anything new. maybe we'll have found everything by then. who knows? maybe we'll just have to wait and see

the best comedians

• Jim Gaffigan
• Gerry Dee
• Gabriel Iglesias
  
• Jeff Dunham
• Demitri Martin
• Eddie Izzard
• Mitch Hedberg

Comedy central has reruns all the time, but YouTube is a good place to check too. comedians

butterice!

( a butterice is a butterfly in 2 year old language)

the other day i saved a butterice! it had been smooshdid on the field and i saw its wings fluttering. he was alive but, chances were going down. So i picked him up on my toe and carried him to some plants away from trampeling feet. He was on his death toe and I helped him. It made me feel good to help the little buggy, even though i'm pretty sure he got blown away later. I think I'll name him weetzie koohl. (that would be my name if i got to choose :)

zone out

Isn't it amazing that we can so entirely zone out in class, or a boring conversation....or anywhere really. We unintentionally block out all surrounding noises and actions. You become lost in your mind, engulfed in your own thoughts and ideas. As you wander about in your own little world, everything around you continues to go on. And everything we have and do is a result of evolution. At one time we needed them, even if they aren't useful now. Like wisdom teeth- we needed them when our heads were bigger, but now that we've evolved they're just a nuisance. So I wonder- when did we need to ignore everything and just zone out? maybe it's useful now too while we block out other things to focus on our work- but at the same time you may have missed the instructions. This is what I thought about while I zoned out in biology.

las ballenas

Last year in 8th grade I had an extraordinary experience.
I took a week off school with my family and we went to go pet the whales.

We left early that morning and drove 16 hours half way down baja. Besides the occasional stress of finding the next gas station and the frequent military check points where our car was inspected for drugs, it was an almost enjoyable experience. When we got to a check point my dad just told the very scary teenager with a rifle over his shoulder that we were "mi familia en vacaion para mira las ballenas." Close enough to get us through without much trouble. The toll roads were fairly well maintained and there were no other cars so we did 90 most of the trip. It was a gorgeous day and I was able to see the sunset as the day began. Even the garbage that littered the sides of the road glittered and seemed like decorations as they shone prettily. I caught up on my reading and did some school work, but the best part was that when you're going 90 miles over hills, you almost feel like you're on a roller coaster. I had my CD player and was limited to a few Cd's, so now whenever I hear a good Charlotte song I am reminded of the trip in gorgeous detail. ( I heard one of their songs on my iPod and decided to write this.)

At the end of the day we were all fairly exhausted and decided to postpone the 2 hour drive on the terribly bumpy road into camp, so we stayed the night in yurts( large tee pees with cloth walls with wooden terrace support and a solid floor. they were very nice.) They were much better than any hotel we might have stayed at and we had our own very large room for our family.

The next morning we got up and drove into the Kuyima camp. There we found small, square, wooden rooms suspended about a foot or two off the ground. The ground was smashed shells and was gorgeous to examine in the dining hall while we ate. You could find amazing miniature shells. If you traveled farther down the beach to the shore you found was looked like lava rock tide pools and past that million and millions of white brown red and speckled shells. When the tide when out you could walk on almost flat packed sand for a few hundred feet out without going past your ankles. In the water were strange small, circular, reddish-orange balls that must have been some sort of coral and a lumpier, larger orange creamsicle colored thing that I labeled as my ancestors. They looked ancient- like something you might have evolved from. There was also the occasional razor scallop or clam thing, star fish, and little crabs. I spent a few hours exploring the water each day. Washed up on shore we found 3 sea horses, 2 sea slugs, and countless gigantic sand dollars. There were turtle shells and whale bones( we took a few home as souvenirs).

We traveled all that way to not just go whale watching- it was more like extreme whale watching. Each day we went out in little pongas about 20 feet long with a marine biologist and a driver. We went out into San Ignacio lagoon with 15 other boats each day, although you rarely ever saw another boat once you were out into the observation area. Each boat had a 4 stroke motor that attracted the babies up to the boat. The moms come down to give birth in the sheltered area with a high salt consistency so the babies float better and 10 large males stay the the mouth of the lagoon to guard the entrance and keep out any killer whales that want a snack. The babies were the ones that I got to touch, once momma decided we were safe. That was the amazing part. They don't feel slimy, and barely even wet. They are like a soft but stiff , giving material. They were grey whales but they seem to be a gorgeous dark blue in my mind. The fins and nose have small while hairs that dimple their surface that remind us that they're mammals too. The moms like to come by and just look at you with a giant black eye- just too far away to touch but close enough to blow snot on you. It felt like mist but had a bad, fishy smell, but in it you could always find rainbows. Once they went back under it smoothed the water and I liked dragging my hang through the cool green water. They go under your boat and rub their backs and roll around on the bottom of the pongas. They seem huge under neath you. I think I was the only one who wasn't frightened to see that. Actually I loved it.

The food they served was delicious every night. It wasn't Mexican food, even though it was. It was more like fresh sea food with a lot of beans and rice. Every aspect of the trip was perfect. I'm grateful to have been able to make such good memories that so many people will never get to experience. I have nothing but very peaceful memories that I hope never fade.

inspire

I'm sure you've heard of the secret, a book about the power of positive thought and how we have the ability to improve our lives by asking the universe for whatever you need in life. I too have read the book and found that although parts of it were difficult to truly believe, but it did leave me feeling better about myself and i had a better day afterwards.

I have recently read the best book ever- Mutant Message Down Under, by Marlo Morgan. It's a true story about her experience traveling with the Real People Tribe of Aborigines on a walkabout across the Australian outback. It's an amazing story that displays the amazing abilities we have lost throughout time. Some of these include talking telepathically which we have lost because of lies and secrets we keep, and the ability to heal yourself by being receptive to perfection. Aborigines have incredibly low rates of heart disease, cancer, and other illnesses. Throughout the book they show us that by asking divine oneness for whatever you might need " if it is in the highest good for all life everywhere." Divine oneness never failed to answer their prayers and even though they expected it, they were always grateful.

This is very much the same idea as was in the secret and it was information passed down for 50 million years( something like that). It proved to me that the secret could be true if you were open to receiving. It worked today very well at the race tracks. I won $45 by asking if it was in the highest good for all life everywhere. It worked very well and I was grateful. Maybe it's not all just made up stuff.

anarchy

If there's one thing I have learned from school it's that ants are more sophisticated in communicating in mass numbers than humans will ever hope to be.
Walking through the halls is a strange sort of inevitable self inflected hell and chaos. It's unavoidable, but whenever I try to manuever my way through the halls I always find myself thinking of the lines of ants following each other and somehow never bumping into each other or having to stop for 12 minutes while we all try and work out way through the intersection.
I propose we put in stop signs and divide the walk ways.
Problem Solved! I'm a genious :P

some of my favorite quotes

• you are annoying my forhead! now you are annoying my top head!
• that guy's tall and skinny with a raisin head. I just want to crush it. 'i'm crushing your head! i'm crushing your head!'
• so if i skateboard, jesus will grow me a beard?
• i wish they taught irish in school
• information is usually unexplainably obtained
• if your plane crashed in the Andes and she died could you eat her?
• but here we have a dwarf who's about to take a dive off a chair
• i love your verbs that are things. i think I'm gonna sandwich after i sofa here for a bit
• i love sleep so sleep is the first thing i think about when i wake up
• I'll tell you why women have all the power. because they've got boobs
• if i could only bring 2 books on a deserted island, one would be a big inflatable book, and the other would be how to make oars out of sand, why do you want to know? this sounds like a slightly threatening question
• I'm sorry i tried to blow up your head
• leprechaun's gonna fuck you up at midnight
• yeah the VCR is hungry, put some spaghetti in it
• it starts at 12 and ends at noon
• the body's first response is to escape the noise- but this doesn't work very well when you're in a hot air balloon
• everybody panic! it's just like the titanic except filled with bears!
• you can't quit dumb cold turkey
• turns out that the best part is the little toe stuff inside there. that's the best part, crunchy little sea feet!
• it's got the flavor of the best shrimp you ever had with the texture of some kind of pharmaceutical jelly
• a creature with legs of eight- CRAB CRAB, it's a CRAB!
• i named it Marley, my first marlin
• i don't have an ego, i just love how awesome i am!
• you know what would go great with that Snapple? some crack.
• oh my god, you're in labor aren't you?...a little.
• we don't have our gravity belt today. we're having some gravity issues...
• i assume you all have guns and crack!
• good news everyone, I've taught the toaster to feel love!
• when was the last time you showered? i 'uno. why? BECAUSE YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO REMEMBER!
• forever always seems to be around when things begin, but forever never seems to be around when things end
• I'll kill you! shut up! it's not funny!
• that's impossible! and this coming from a guy who just swam 92 miles without arms or legs
• everything is sexual if you think hard enough
• miserable is memorable
• there was the cutest little girl scout selling all kinds of cookies, and when i asked her what it would cost she said about 3 fidy. it was then that i noticed that she was about 8 stories tall! It was that damn loch ness monster again!
• oh look a slug! you're gonna get smooshdid.
• you're chances of being dead are really good

A circle is just a confused line that got lost

Invisible

Did you know I was invisible? I didn't really comprehend to just what extent the rest of the world was oblivious to my existence. In class I walked across the room to check my grades with the teacher. I had one idiot ask if I had just transfered. Nope, I'd been there the whole year. They then proceded to ask if I was absent a lot or something. Nope, I hadn't missed a single day. I'm quiet...does that completely get rid of my existance? It's so odd. I could tell many people were agreeing with the questions though, and it's not the first time I've been asked that in a class. Wonder what I can do with my amazing invisible abilities. . . .

My favorite comic :)

(sorry it's hard to read, so just just read below and look at the pictures)

Ooooooookay, zeeba neighba....Now you had it. Dis is all powerful, all- loving Box God. We pray to heem. He hate you.

IS THAT SO?

Yes! Me juss ask and he kill you face! So geeve up now!

I DON'T BELEIVE IN YOUR BOX GOD.

Wuuuh? Is you STOOpid? Now you so dead it not even funny! Oh let us PRAY.....

Ohhh all-powerful Box God.....ARISE and show you is all-powerful Box God of revengeness by chanting you War Song O' FURIOUS death.

I love you.....you love me.....we a happy fam-i-ly.....

Dat wasn't right song, Bob.

Me get dem confused.

<3

give in for your own good

Everyone is stubborn, but it's just not worth it. Don't be too proud to do something that's in your best interest. If you're forced to go to dinner at a place you hate instead of your favorite restaurant, that doesn't mean you can't make the best of it. If you're in a bad mood, being stubborn won't help you get your way any more than just enjoying whatever is happening. This happened to me so I refused to eat in defiance, but it didn't hurt anyone but myself. My parents saved money while I got hungrier, and when I finally gave in and stole some of my brother's food- it was good. Sometimes you just need to swallow your pride, get over yourself- and do what you know you should. The people who you're proving yourself to won't care, or think that you're giving in. In the end everyone will benefit. You have to think- who's winning here, and is it really worth it? Because chances are, probably not. <3

forgive

Forgive and forget, for life is too short.

You know that person that holds a grudge for something that isn't worth it? Most of the time i'm the person that they're mad at. It's never worth it. Maybe I just don't understand the importance of what's happening, but I just want to be happy. I hate fights, I really do. Maybe I have a selective memory and those fun times, when I lost my voice laughing or stayed up till 2 giggling. Those are what I remember. Not the time that so and so was mad at me for something, or when I was angry for a short time when a friend insulted me when they were having a bad day. It isn't important. I've been noticing that my life is filled with anger more than I realized. I wish it wasn't. I enjoy staying up late laughing with friends, and I want more of those moments to fill my life. Late nights complaining about people aren't a good use of my time. Where is my life reset button? ( probably behind my ear where i'll never find it)

self portrait

This is my self portrait. (It's from really far away)

Stones

They say people that live in glass houses sholdn't throw stones, but really- when is it ok to throw stones? It's really never ok to throw stones unless you happen to be trapped in a glass house. So then really, only people in glass houses should throw stones.
Now you may be thinking, what about throwing stones to skip them on a lake? NO! Please do not been the fish in the head. No one appreciates it. SO now you're thinking- what about large-ish puddles?There aren't any fish in there right? Again, NO! Now you must worry about splashing other people, and I really don't like nasty puddle water on my legs thank you very much. So I am officially changing this saying to say: "Only people trapped in glass houses should throw stones. "

Today I saw a dead butterfly. It made me sad.

Friends <3

What are friends really? I believe I have figured it out.
Really, they are just the people you know- that you are comphertable enough to call and say, let's go on an adventure! They are the people you share and create memories with. The dudes that you talk to. They tell you their problems and listen to yours. But mostly, they are the people that listen to your random ass thoughts without saying- what the hell!? or turning you into a mental hospitol. That is what makes you a friend truly.
Of course there are other things like being reliable, helping you out when you need assistance, or just wasting their time with you. And patients is a good addition too. My friends get pissed off often enough- so if you can be patient and know that they will get over it and you can continue to have all of those wonderfull qualities that make your friends your friend s :)

it's all good for something

Everything is good for something.

I enjoy music for more than one reason. You have to respect some artists because they use their publicity and their music to send out their message. Listen to the lyrics of songs. Daughters by John Mayor, Cookie Jar by Jack Johnson, Big Yellow Taxi by Counting Crows, If Everyone Cared by Nickelback, Dear Mr. President by Pink( just to name a few). I feel that I must respect these artists for using their fame to send a good message and alert the masses of what whatever knowledge they're trying to spread.

Movie directors are doing it to and I'd like to applaud them. Many directors have made movies about penguins to try and educate people on what may happen in the future. They've made it legal to drill for oil in Antarctica and that will kill out many penguin species. I've also noticed many bee movies coming out because of the bee crisis that's happening lately. There recently has been a big decline in the bee populations. You may not know it, but life entirely depends on bees, not just for flowers and honey but they pollinate all plants to give us fruit and vegetables and the like. If bees died out life on earth would cease in 6 years from their extinction.

But some artists are just....useless. Rap and most of pop and hip hop( for the most part) are all just pretty pointless. It's about sex drugs and voilence. There is no point in listening to the lyrics at all. But hey, it sounds good. So even the crap is good for something. In my opinion, everything is good for something.

YAYS

I love my friends. Sure- they all hate each other periodically. They fight and occasionally make up, but at one time or another they were friends with each other, and I was so lucky as to be dragged into the mix to create the screwed up web of people that I am honored to call my friends. It keeps shrinking as I find who are the people that are not just friends, but friends that I enjoy spending my time with. Somehow I am now left with people who seem to draw people to them. ( I hope to posses the same quality) Or maybe it's just me, and that's why I'm their friend.Actually, there's a good possibility that they're mad at me at this very moment for some reason or another. But they are so lucky as to have a friend like me, who may know more than they do.

When you look back on everything- 1/2 the time you can't even remember those fights, those arguments, or if you do- what the fight was over is no longer of relevance and reflecting on it- you realize it was a waste of time that you could have spent enjoying each others company instead arguing.

I know this because one day my dad told me, life is too short to be angry. And I took it to heart. I try to live my life that way. Because life is too short. No matter how many times I wish it were Friday when it's Tuesday- I will wish twice as many times for there to be more days in a week, and more hours in a day.

I always find it interesting to see the things you remember. All the disjointed snippets of memories. I often think- how strange is it to know that one day, I won't remember this moment ever happening. But then there are those bits that you can remember. Some are extremely irrelevant. They are taking up space for the memory of what your teacher was saying the other day about that thing on the test. But even so, I enjoy all my memories

I truly believe that every cloud has a silver lining. Silver may be my favorite color. All the bad things that happen usually do have something good come out of them, one way or another. (for example) I cut off my finger when I was 7. It's one of those snippet memories that I have. That was a terrible day. I just wanted a band aid and for it to be all better- but miserable is memorable, and now I have a story.

For everything that has happened- and everything that will inevitably happen one day or another, I'm happy. It could be so much worse, but it's not and so I'm lucky. ( Wishing someone good luck if they haven't said," wish me luck" will actually make them lucky)

Yes this is all mindless babbling- but you're the one who wanted to read the blog....which is just babbling anyways, so I hope you enjoyed my thoughts today <3

instincts, people!

Sports go against your instincts. I'm pretty sure that when a volleyball is flying at you, your instincts are to step aside, not to lunge for the flying object. So for everyone that isn't a superstar athlete, just know that your instincts are better than those who may excel at sports. If you were left out in the wilderness, you would survive because when a bear came- you would run! instead of sitting and waiting to see if you could beat it. ( ok that's an exaggeration....but it makes sense doesn't it?) There are a few sports that it would be good to excel at, like dodge ball or track. Those ones makes sense, however cruel they may be. But plenty just don't make sense.

The Rainging Tree

We all know that trees are magical, massive, majestic, and monumentous. They hold onto history and preserve the past. But did you know they can also prolong the present?

While walking to school , avoiding the puddles during a brief pause in the rain, I walked under a tree and was hit by a drop on the top of my head. I looked up to see more drops coming down towards me. I thought that it had begun to rain again because I could see the ripples in the puddles, but as I looked farther, no other puddles were disturbed by the rain. It only seemed to be under that tree. As I walked out from under it, the drops stopped. It wasn't raining, but when I looked back I saw that the tree was raining. It was the raining tree, and it was amazing. Officially my new favorite memory.

fireworks

The fireworks were amazing. Set off from the pier....they were perfect. The breeze blew away the smoke and the cold night sky was perfectly clear. Of course giant sparkly explosions in the sky are spectacular, but the finale blew my mind. It was the best yet. When they set off one after another, it had a firecracker effect. I loved it. When I was little it use to scare me. The noise can be powerful. But now it's the best part. During the finale there were so many going off at once that you could feel the noise. Adding to the beautiful visual display, it was accompanied by a sonic boom resonating after each explosion and vibrating in my chest and lingering in my ears. I felt like I had thoroughly experience them by not only seeing them, but hearing them and feeling them as well. Next year will hopefully be even better. ( not a bad picture for a phone camera i think) <3>

So nice i'm evil

Some things just don't make sense. People think I'm a bitch before they meet me. The rumors are terrible. All of them have a bit of truth I'll admit, but they're all completely exaggerated. And I don't care. I don't get mad when people talk abot me behind my back, because I know that it's what friends talk about with other friends. What else do you talk about? Since I do it too, I refuse to be a hypocrite. So I let them....but it gives people the wrong impression. So all my friends started off hating me. Then they get to know me, and see that I'm really nice. I'm so nice that people think I'm a bitch. How irnoic.

SPARKLY

We produce our own sparkles. It's what I've decided. Ever see someone with just one random sparkle on their forehead, nose, chin, or cheek? I just stop and giggle because it's so random. But of course, I am one step ahead of the face sparkle. My hands are always moist. Always have been...and now they make their own glitter! It's not like a little cut out piece of shiny material. It's more like that shiny powder. It's glitter on my palms, and I like it. Whenever I see my shiny palms, it makes me happy. Doesn't everyone wish they made their own sparkles? Well, you just might. <3

I decided

I decided. I decide a lot of things. Once I decide something, as far as I'm concerned, it's true. I have decided that I'm always right. No one believes this....but that's because they're wrong. When you decide, you get the power. Suddenly, you're in control because YOU have decided and now it's what you've decided to do. May be your life, or possibly just what to wear that morning. I like deciding. My ideas are better than everyone else's anyways :)

Christmas

Some parts of Christmas can be a bit.....ridiculous. I don't like waiting for presents, but it brings the family together. I hate having to think of things I want, but the dinner is always delicious. Many people don't have enough money to buy presents for everyone, but they get gifts as well. The weather is freezing cold, but then there's the fabulous smell of chimney smoke. And no other time of the year is my craving for hot cocoa and ginger bread cookies considered normal instead of bizarre. Personally I think the best thing of all are the lights. They're a huge waste of energy, BUT THEY'RE SO SHINY!

figure it out

People have called me abrasive, and the same day can tell me that no matter what they do they can't picture me being aggressive. I don't know if this is good or bad, but it doesn't matter. I'm pretty happy despite their views. the problem is, I'm not very tact full. I think that if there is a truth, it should be said. I don't get mad at really anything so I like to know what everyone thinks about me. someone may hate me, but I'd like to know that at least. So I forget that no everyone is like that. Whenever there's something someone has told me that they don't like about someone, something that person can fix so that more people like them, I try to tell them that. But they think I'm just criticising and they get mad and think I'm a bitch or something. it can be very difficult. People need to figure it out sometimes- for their own good!

Always better

For every moment there is in life, the next one will be better. Things always get better. I truly believe that at your best moment or worst moment, knowing that in the near future things will be improved, even in your happiest moment, makes life constantly improve.

Like dieting, I've lost a bunch of weight and people keep asking me how. I can't really give them an answer that helps. I think that all I did differently was change my thinking and my body followed. All the food I ate was just energy for the things I do- it's not fat. I know that when my foot is tapping it's burning calories and that laughing is the best exercise i could do for my abs. So for people looking for ways to lose weight, yes- diet and exercise help the most. But you can't do anything if all you think about are how many calories you consume and how they're going to add fat to your thighs. If u think that...then how does it help inspire you to be a new beautiful person?

I'm still working to my goal weight and after 40, 5 more is nothing. You should try it some times. It's fun to go shopping with the jeans in your size :)